Dear Career Sensei – How do I deal with my Backstabbing Colleague

Dear Career Sensei,

How do I work amicably with a back-stabbing, two-faced colleague? She pretends like we are on friendly terms, gets my thoughts and ideas on projects then goes behind my back and shares them with the boss like they originated from her.
I’m starting to suspect that she’s been bad mouthing me to the boss (although I can’t prove it) because our boss’s attitude towards me has changed for the worse and I fear that he would not recommend me for a promotion that I am long overdue for.


Bleeding Back

Hello Bleeding Back,

A problem is half solved when you acknowledge that is it just that. Thankfully, you have been able to identify the source of your woes and the solution to your problem is quite simple; friendships in the work  place are not practicable, so focus on the job at hand rather than making friends.

Instead of speculating on your boss’s attitude towards you, why don’t you go directly to the boss and find out the reason for the change in her attitude towards you? You can ask for a performance review meeting with her where you can highlight why you think you deserve the promotion while also using the opportunity to  find out ways to improve your working relationship.

Remember you are not in the office to make friends so what you may perceive as a frosty relationship between you and your boss may just be your boss keeping it professional.

All the best!

The Career Sensei

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